The Cosmic Conspiracist
A fabulous tale in the magic realist tradition.
They gathered to remember the death of a voodoo priest who had recently passed into hell.
Mrs. Timothy Germain: I saw him just the other day at the crack store.
Son Walton Germain: I don’t think there are any crack stores here in Idaho, mother.
Mrs. Sandra Germain: Yes, the real reason there are so many crack stores is the rise of the upper class.
Without demand for crack, the upper class would not have the upper hand, they would be dead like my husband.
Who was there at the crack store with me, really.
Marcus Germain: I’m like a kitten of cosmic children as I follow the one to the light.
Sandra: I’ve seen better days too, Marcus, but I don’t complain like that.
Buck Germain: My father is alive. He is alive as an Idaho potato. In the universe, he and I are as royal and declarative as Idaho potatoes. That in this universe, is the way we grow.
In walks Timothy Germain, disguised as someone else.
Tom Pertine: Hi, my name is Tom, but I’m Timothy Germain in my heart. My real name is Timothy, because the One guided him and I to be here together in my heart. Do you see me now, Sandra? Hi, Walton, Marcus and Buck. I always knew we would grow like the potatoes after the days became years.
You see, the One came to this funeral, and Timothy and the One are together here. Timothy, in fact is not yet dead. But he will be. He and the One will, at this very funeral, die both together, in one accord. Then they will leave this world behind, and this funeral will end with the death of the already deceased.
Tom Pertine dies and falls to the ground, lifeless.
Walton: Mom, this Tom and Timothy’s heart has died. But he was dead before he died. Why are we here if he did not die at all, but lives forever in the heart?
Priest Sam: The One that guided Timothy in Tom here today was the author of everything, and the creator of nothing. No such One exists, but in every heart, is the same. Nature creates chasms and emptiness in place of light and hope. This is why Timothy is now dead, because nature is the thief in the night who brought him beyond death twice.
Buck: There is someone behind all this that we can’t see or know. He is the cosmic conspiracist. He is the one who causes death.
Marcus: So you are saying, Buck, that my father is dead. And he is dead not because of crack, but because of a cosmic conspiracy? I see the reality in visions like yours, my brother.
In walks Martha Jury.
Walton: It’s Martha Jury. I know you. You are that prisoner of dope and scams on television.
Martha: Yes. I’m here to explain. I got caught in a wild storm, and saw my own way through life.
Sandra: Did you know my husband?
Martha: Well, You could say that he more or less knew me. But in a certain way, I suppose so.
Buck: Did you see him before you came here?
Martha: I just got out of the kind of relationship we shared as business associates, because of death and the wilderness.
Priest Sam: I saw out of the wilderness also. I found him there, the One. The One who declared himself dead for the whole world to die of his free reign in heaven.
I saw many things during my walk through time and the corridors of madness.
The reality is otherwise, and I see too much of that in you, Martha.
Martha: Well, I think that does it. I’ve been grounded by Father Sam.