The Family Drama of my Father

There is some family drama that revolves around my father’s demand that I stop being an artist in society, and admit defeat.  The way it works is, I make art because I am seeking to change the world.  This does trigger my father’s reactivity, and he reacts by yelling and making demands that I stop it right away.  He then tells me what my direction in life should be, why I should not seek to educate myself, and take a job in fast food and just do that for the rest of my life.  Then, being an artist, it drives me mad, and I disobey and do my art anyway.  Then that triggers him to become outraged, yell again, make the same demands, and go through this cycle again and again until it destroys him or me or both.

My criticism of this vicious circle of family drama is that I am actually being told in therapy to get in touch with my real self, namely, the artist, and become a productive member of society using this as my work ethic.  I am being told to compromise and become a web designer, so that my father won’t have a reason to get angry, and then do my art business as a side hustle, to give me more income. In short, I am being told to disguise my rebellion as something good for society, and to pursue it rationally and happily, instead of out of fear of my father’s anger.

My father does not respond well to this, and does not understand anything about therapy for being a mental illness prone to art making.  He is seeking to defuse the artist through random acts of torture and malice, and seeks to undermine the success of my therapy in any way possible.  He does this by making demands of my therapist that I seek other avenues of expression besides creativity.  He seems not to know any other avenues of expression besides creativity, but still makes these demands, as if there is some type of role in society for a mental illness prone to doing slave work for no money, in trying to create children that are right for him to make fun of, and ostracize into being artists to themselves, and start the cycle of corruption and violence towards display and tolerance all over again.

Father Complex – Article on Wikipedia

There is a father complex called the “eternal son” in which the father never allows the son to become a father, and pushes him away from fatherhood, so that he can never threaten his authority as father, all the while heaping criticism and misdirection upon the eternal son, for not being fatherly and responsible as the true father is.

Primal Scene – Article on Wikipedia

In psychoanalysis, there is something called a “primal scene,” where the child first realizes how he was created by the scene of sexual intercourse between his parents.

My primal scene is resolved by realizing it is pro creational of the shadow child archetype, containing the shadow projections of the parents’ fantasized sexual violence.  the internal father archetype is seen as the authoritative therapist of the grandfather archetype, instead of the parent archetype. The fantasy of the primal scene parent archetypes is that they produce a needed but not wanted child, through sexual urges and mutual dissatisfaction of fantasies for each other’s and the child archetype’s misery.