Rule Oriented Behavior, Self-Acceptance, and Negative Peer Review

If you set a rule for yourself for productivity, and then someone rejects you based on your own rule, it halts you with internalized guilt and shame.  If you get ride of the rules that exist by parenting that were originally intended to stop a child from getting into trouble, you will be free to do what good you must do to change the world, anyway.

Rules are blocks, because even though they may work for you some of the time, the tendency is to give the key away to a loved one.  That gives away the power of productivity to someone else.  However much you love that person, that person has all the power over you, and that might yield results that are inverse to your intention, even if their intention to stop you is based on something that is meant well.

If you generate positive intentions, and find a way to set positive intentions, these are more productive than rules.  This is because when they succeed or fail to generate productivity for you or for your team, they succeed and fail not based on shame and guilt, but on core principles of yourself in action.  These are flexible kinds of behavioral principles that you can learn from and modify and adapt to reality, without fear of rejection or non-acceptance.

When someone does not accept your principle, likely you are not going to feel guilt or shame.  You will feel like telling them to “take a hike,” or “get lost in your own forest, not mine.”  I think principled intentions are likely to be more positive for yourself, and you’ll realize why they work or don’t work when you utilize them and put them into action.  If you have positive principles that you don’t put into action, then you are stuck in a rut, and then need a counselor to help you get unstuck.  But if you feel so bold, please do what you can to set positive goals for yourself, so that you can learn how to follow through by setting positive intentions first, and then learn principles that support your most positive intentions that work.  You need both principles and positive intentions to get done what you want to do to change the world.

When you are a child you did this automatically.  You did what you wanted to change the world, but then were stopped by the reality of the situation of fear, guilt shame, and other negative emotions, which manifested as trauma.  The trauma existed to block that part of you from danger.  Originally it served a noble purpose, but in time, it is the excuse you use to block yourself further and further from your original goals.  So trauma also requires counseling, to move beyond your current set of limits from your parents’ attempts to stop your goals and help you realize the value of work in reality.  It is all temporary.  It is all malleable and changeable. You may be the person you know you are in your core beliefs about your authentic genuine goals.  You will accomplish much if you can see yourself behind your mirror of self-reflection.  It may require much reading and study, but the world belongs to those who accomplish their adult psychology work.

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